


New chat: League bitches

by orphan_account



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pocket Monsters: Sword & Shield | Pokemon Sword & Shield Versions
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Chatlogs, Chatting & Messaging, Crack, Fluff, Gremlins, Humor, Multi, Oops, Pokemon, Rated T for language, at least i hope its funny, chat fic, crack and fluff, theyre all little shits
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-02
Updated: 2020-02-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:26:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22525513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Raihan changed ‘Opal’ to ‘Scary old lady’Bede: wtfBede changed ‘Scary old lady’ to ‘Tea party’This is for rachel: I just saved you from assault, possibly arson
Relationships: Beet | Bede/Hop, Dande | Leon/Kibana | Raihan, Mary | Marnie/Yuuri | Gloria, Nezu | Piers/Yarrow | Milo, Rurina | Nessa/Sonia
Comments: 5
Kudos: 249





	1. twelvies

**Author's Note:**

> ahhh sorry this is so short!! I hope someone enjoys this ahaha.  
> seriously tho I have school tomorrow why am I awake

**NEW CHAT**

Created at 2:23 am by  _ Raihan _

_ 14 members _

_ (Milo, Nessa, Kabu, Bea, Allister, Melony, Gordie, Piers, Raihan, Leon, Marnie, Bede, Opal, Gloria) _

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_ Raihan changed ‘Piers’ to ‘Edgy Teen’ _

_ Raihan changed ‘Leon’ to ‘Fashionista’ _

_ Raihan changed ‘Nessa’ to ‘Water Lesbian’ _

_ Raihan changed ‘Kabu’ to ‘Mid life crisis’ _

_ Raihan changed ‘Milo’ to ‘Australian milk’ _

_ Raihan changed ‘Opal’ to ‘Scary old lady’ _

_ Raihan named the chat ‘league bitches’ _

_ Raihan changed ‘Raihan’ to ‘god’ _

**Bede** : wtf

_ Bede changed ‘Scary old lady’ to ‘Tea party’ _

_ Bede changed ‘Bede’ to ‘This is for rachel’ _

**This is for rachel:** I just saved you from assault, possibly arson

**Marnie:** Good Bede

_ This is for rachel changed ‘Marnie’ to ‘Dumb bitch’ _

**Dumb bitch:** I have no objections

_ Dumb bitch changed ‘This is for rachel’ to ‘Dumb gay’ _

**Dumb gay:** no objections over here either

**Dumb bitch:** glad we could reach an agreement on this serious matter

**Edgy teen:** marnie wtf go to sleep 

**Dumb bitch:** nobelium urnanium

**Edgy teen:** fUC-

**Edgy teen:** I have accepted my fate

**Edgy teen:** night bitches

**Dumb gay:** that worked surprisingly well 

**God:** why are all the 12 year olds awake oml

_ Dumb bitch changed ‘God’ to ‘Peasant’ _

_ Peasant changed ‘Peasant’ to ‘God’ _

**_Dumb bitch was kicked_ **

**Dumb gay:** CEO of christian minecraft servers

**_Dumb gay added ‘Dumb bitch’_ **

**Dumb bitch:** rAIHAN YOU LITTLE HFSDKSF

**Dumb bitch:** perish at the hands of my brother

**Dumb bitch:** if he’s still alive that is-

**God:** tell him to join my smash bros lobby

**God:** we’ll settle this like real men 

**Dumb bitch:** for real?

**Dumb bitch:** IMMA GO WAKE THIS DUDE

**God:** wAIT NO-

**God:** well what’s done is done

**God:** im pulling out my sans mii fighter

**Allister:** guys stop spamming im trying to have tea with my sinistea smh

**\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

  
  
  


**LEAGUE BITCHES**

_ 14 members _

_ (Australian milk, Water lesbian, Mid life crisis, Bea, Allister, Melony, Gordie, Edgy teen, God, Fashionista, Dumb bitch, Dumb gay, Tea party, Gloria) _

_ 5:42 am _

_ Gloria changed ‘Gloria’ to ‘God of galar’ _

_ God of galar changed ‘God’ to ‘#3’ _

_ God of galar changed ‘Fashionista’ to ‘My #2 bitch’ _

**My #2 bitch:** wOW >:(

**God of galar:** :)))))))

**My #2 bitch:** hey everybody today my brother pushed me, so I’m starting a kickstarter to put him down

**My #2 bitch:** benefits of killing him would be I would get pushed way less

**God of Galar: …..**

**_God of Galar added ‘Hop’_ **

_ God of galar changed ‘Hop’ to ‘Stealing Sonias job’ _

**God of Galar:** HOP YOU SEEING THIS WOWWWW

  
**Stealing Sonias job:** why tf are you guys up this early ahhh


	2. its a competition now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Water lesbian: Please observe- normal people, getting up at normal times, and sleeping before 12 am
> 
> God of galar: nessa stfu I had to wake up half an hour earlier so I could cry before training 
> 
> God of galar: in my previous schedule that overlapped with training

**LEAGUE BITCHES**

_ 15 members _

_ (Australian milk, Water lesbian, Mid life crisis, Bea, Allister, Melony, Gordie, Edgy teen, #3, My #2 bitch, Dumb bitch, Dumb gay, Tea party, God of galar, Stealing Sonias job) _

_ 7:06 am _

**Water lesbian:** Please observe- normal people, getting up at normal times, and sleeping before 12 am

**Water lesbian:** I approve of my name at least

**God of galar:** nessa stfu I had to wake up half an hour earlier so I could cry before training 

**God of galar:** in my previous schedule that overlapped with training

**Water lesbian:** w e a k

**God of galar:** shUSH

**Australian milk:** nessa be nice >:(

**God of galar:** hahaha listen to milo

**Water lesbian:** nO

**Australian milk:** :((

**Water lesbian:** WAIT IM SORRY I’LL BE NICE DON’T BE SAD :(((

**Australian milk:** hehe good

**Gordie:** that’s some badass manipulation

_ Gordie changed ‘Gordie’ to ‘Rock bottom’ _

**Rock bottom:** that sounds kinkier than I initially thought

_ Rock bottom changed ‘Rock bottom’ to ‘absolute bastard’ _

**Absolute bastard:** better

**God of Galar:** THAT IS A COMMON SAYING GORDIE OML

**God of Galar:** NOW I’M GONNA THINK THAT FOREVER FHJSFJFH

**Absolute bastard:** i’m tainting the childs mind

**#3:** gloria why have i been dethroned as god

**God of Galar:** the truth hurts doesn’t it

**Dumb bitch:** THATS MY GIRL

**#3:** YKNOW WHAT

**#3** : IF I CAN’T BE GOD IMMA BE AT LEAST POWERFUL

_ #3 change ‘#3’ to ‘Jesus christ’ _

**Edgy teen:** tfw a 2m tall dude bows down to a 15 year old

**Edgy teen:** honestly I think the gremlins are taking over

**Mid life crisis:** I don’t appreciate this name

_ Edgy teen changed ‘mid life crisis’ to ‘DILF’ _

**Jesus christ:** WTF PIERS NO

**Water lesbian:** AHAHAHAHAHAH

**Dumb bitch:** i cant believe im related to you jdjfhf

**Bea:** I just got here and already want to leave

**Stealing Sonias job:** mood

  * ••••



**LEAGUE BITCHES**

_ 15 members _

_ (Australian milk, Water lesbian, Mid life crisis, Bea, Allister, Melony, Absolute bastard, Edgy teen, Jesus christ, My #2 bitch, Dumb bitch, Dumb gay, Tea party, God of galar, Stealing Sonias job) _

1:21 pm

**God of Galar:** hop get on the mc realm

**God of Galar:** n o w

**God of Galar:** bedes a little shit ahfjahadkh

**God of Galar:** HE DESTROYED OUR BEDS AND NOW THEY ARE TWO BLOCKS AWAY FROM EACHOTHER

**Dumb Gay:** hEY ITS NOT MY FAULT Y’ALL ARE AWFUL AT INTERIOR DESIGN

**God of Galar:** bede this was our bromance you can’t do that

**God of Galar** : I’m starting a petition to kill bedes dog

**Dumb bitch:** I’m in

**Stealing Sonias job:** BEDE WTF

**Stealing Sonias job:** HOW DARE YOU

**Stealing Sonias job:** I SAY WE EXPLODE HIS ENTIRE BASE

**Dumb Gay:** hEY NO

**Dumb Gay:** that dog is my only will to live 

**Dumb Gay:** If he dies so do your parrots

**Dumb bitch:** BRO DON’T TOUCH THE PARROTS

**Dumb bitch:** TOUCH THE PARROTS AND I WILL PERSONALLY COME TO YOUR HOUSE AND YOU WILL REGRET IT

**Dumb Gay:** MARNIE THIS IS BETRAYAL

**Dumb Gay:** WE SHARE THE SAME BASE

**Dumb Bitch:** dont. touch. the. parrots. 

**Edgy Teen:** bede run she left the house 

**Edgy Teen:** this could be the end for you

**Dumb Gay:** SHIT

  * ••••



  
  
  


**LEAGUE BITCHES**

_ 15 members _

_ (Australian milk, Water lesbian, Mid life crisis, Bea, Allister, Melony, Absolute bastard, Edgy teen, Jesus christ, My #2 bitch, Dumb bitch, Dumb gay, Tea party, God of galar, Stealing Sonias job) _

5:16 pm

**Bea:** kinda offended at the lack of nicknames

_ Bea changed ‘Bea’ to ‘Falcon punch’ _

_ Bea changed ‘Allister’ to ‘haunted’ _

**Falcon punch:** good

**God of Galar:** gUYS

**God of Galar:** apparently hop and I’s parents made a bet

**God of Galar:** about when tf we would date

**God of Galar:** turns out we were both failures and turned out as gay babies

**Stealing Sonias job:** GLORIA

**Stealing Sonias job:** LEON WAS IN ON IT BAHAHAHAHA

**Stealing Sonias job:** SORRY TO DISAPPOINT MY MAN

**My #2 bitch:** tfw 2 kids have such strong bromance jdghgdskhsk

**My #2 bitch:** honestly majority of the people in this chat are gay or bi 

**My #2 bitch:** its beautiful :,)

_ Water lesbian named the chat ‘gay cult’ _

_ Water lesbian added ‘Sonia’ _

_ Water lesbian changed ‘Sonia’ to ‘The smart one’ _

**Water lesbian:** and now thanks to Sonia and I the lesbians are winning

**My #2 bitch:** wait- hOW is this a competition

**Water lesbian:** it’s a fight to see who can get their shit together the quickest

**Water lesbian:** it starts now

**The smart one:** nessa ily, but wtf hahaha

**Stealing Sonias job:** sOMEONE QUICK CHANGE MY NAME

_ Dumb gay changed ‘Stealing sonias job’ to ‘Hopper’ _

**Dumb gay:** I’m still in my mc mindset after marnie tried to murder me over glorias parrots

**Falcon punch:** CUTE

**God of Galar:** bEDE YOU SHOULD BE GRATEFUL THAT YOU’RE STILL ALIVE

**God of Galar:** last time hop came hunting for me and he brutally murdered me

**God of Galar** : I am simply an empty corpse now

**Hopper:** you deserved that stfu

**The smart one:** when the teenage boi tryna steal your job sfjkfs

  
  


  * ••••



**GAY CULT**

_ 16 members _

_ (Australian milk, Water lesbian, Mid life crisis, Falcon punch, Haunted, Melony, Absolute bastard, Edgy teen, Jesus christ, My #2 bitch, Dumb bitch, Dumb gay, Tea party, God of galar, Hopper, The smart one) _

9:27 pm

**Jesus christ:** last night I had the strangest dream

**The smart one:** raihan we get it, you have tiktok

**Jesus christ:** i sailed away to china?

  
**The smart one:** NO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a hot minute in between chapters haha. I can't sleep at all, so i'm just writing ahaha


	3. Bromance with hidden homo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo yo yo, I might post some stories in a different collection that happen in between this, I might even put some normal writing in some chapters to add some more fluff and less crack but im not sure atm :)  
> I didn't proof read this before have fun haha

**GAY CULT**

_ 16 members _

_ (Australian milk, Water lesbian, Mid life crisis, Falcon punch, Haunted, Melony, Absolute bastard, Edgy teen, Jesus christ, My #2 bitch, Dumb bitch, Dumb gay, Tea party, God of galar, Hopper, The smart one) _

1:54 am

**God of Galar:** raihan im disappointed

**God of Galar:** if you wanted a lyric chain pick something good

**Dumb bitch:** mining away

**God of Galar:** i DONT KNOW WHAT TO MINE

**Dumb bitch:** I’LL MINE THIS ANYWAY

**Dumb gay:** iN THIS MINECRAFT DAY

**Hopper:** SO BEAUTIFUL

**God of Galar:** mine further down

**God of Galar:** whats that I found

**Dumb bitch:** mINE DIAMONDSSSS

**God of Galar:** (take on me)

**Dumb bitch:** MINE DIAMONDSSSSSS

**God of Galar:** (take on me)

**Dumb bitch:** ILL MINE THEMMMMMM

**Dumb bitch:** SO FAR IVE GOT TWOOOOOOOOO

**My # 2 bitch:** so easy to mine

**My #2 bitch:** with my minecraft pickaxe and shovel

**Jesus christ:** leon not you

**Jesus christ:** don’t join the gremlins i actually care about you >:0

**God of Galar:** HOP YOU TRAINED HIM SO WELL AHAHJJDSK

  
  


  * ••••



**GAY CULT**

_ 16 members _

_ (Australian milk, Water lesbian, Mid life crisis, Falcon punch, Haunted, Melony, Absolute bastard, Edgy teen, Jesus christ, My #2 bitch, Dumb bitch, Dumb gay, Tea party, God of galar, Hopper, The smart one) _

3:08 am

**Dumb Gay:** that feeling when u do an insomnia because daddy issues

**Dumb Gay:** can we start a screw rose train

**Hopper:** ;(

**Hopper:** FUCK YOU ROSE

**Hopper:** seriously broski you doing all g? :((

**My #2 bitch:** LANGUAGE HOP YOU MF

**My #2 bitch:** FUCK YOU ROSE GO BURN IN A HOLE

**Hopper:** hyprocrite hjhakjhdks

**My #2 bitch:** go to sleep bro

**Hopper:** I was pLanning on it

**Hopper:** but now i’m consoling sad boi

**Hopper:** cya nerds im going shopping

**My #2 bitch:** i ship it

**Hopper:** i didnt even turn my phone off you dimwit

_ My #2 bitch deleted a message _

**My #2 bitch:** sorry bro

**Hopper:** thanks bro

**My #2 bitch:** bro…

**Hopper:** bro…   
  


**Australian Milk:** i can feel the chad dude bro energy from here.

**My #2 bitch:** milo this is the latest ive ever seen you awake ahhdfhjskj

**Australian Milk:** i went to piers concert!! Hella cool btw

**Australian Milk:** and then I became the sober friend because his friends need rides 

**My #2 bitch:** i feel that on a spiritual level

**Australian Milk:** why you up mdude

**My #2 bitch:** R A I H A N

**My #2 bitch:** cALLED ME AT 2:05 AM

**My #2 bitch:** AND STILL HASN’T HUNG UP

**Jesus christ:** oK IT WAS IMPORTANT

**Jesus christ:** FUNNY HORSE SHOW IS IMPORTANT

**My #2 bitch:** tHATS NOT WHAT YOU SAID WHEN YOU NEEDED EMOTIONAL SUPPORT BECAUSE 

**My #2 bitch:** ‘EPISODE 15 IS A LIL BITCH WHY DO THEY DO THIS TO ME FUCK THEM’

**Jesus christ:** ITS TRUE,, IM STILL CRYING AND I AM NOT READY FOR THE NEXT EPISODE

**My #2 bitch:** YOU'RE A SCHEMOZZLE

**My #2 bitch:** SHEMOZZLE: a state of chaos and confusion; a muddle.

**Jesus christ:** wOW NICE YOU KNOW ENGLISH HOW NICE

**Jesus christ:** FUCK YOU

**My #2 bitch:** when your bro is crying so much he has to type because he is incapable of w o r d

**Absolute bastard:** you two are delightful

**Jesus christ:** FUCK ME

**Absolute bastard:** gladly

**Jesus christ:** smooth smooth

**Jesus christ:** when you want me to pick you up

**Jesus christ:** no homo bro

**Absolute bastard:** pick me up at witching hour and join allister and I’s ritual ;)

**Jesus christ:** sounds good 

**Jesus christ:** pretty sure I just heard leon say that ur dead gordie

**My #2 bitch:** i wANT IN ON DEMONS FGSFHJS

  
  


**GAY CULT**

_ 16 members _

_ (Australian milk, Water lesbian, Mid life crisis, Falcon punch, Haunted, Melony, Absolute bastard, Edgy teen, Jesus christ, My #2 bitch, Dumb bitch, Dumb gay, Tea party, God of galar, Hopper, The smart one) _

6:46 am

**God of Galar:** damn i should’ve let leon keep his job

**God of Galar:** its so early and I have no poptarts

**God of Galar:** I want poptarts get me some

**Dumb bitch:** the council has heard your request

**Dumb bitch:** the council has denied your request

**Dumb bitch:** you have been sentanced to attend a witch trial and ultimately be burned to death

**God of Galar:** :(

**God of Galar:** this is so sad alexa play despacito

**My #2 bitch:** i watched the good place finale while on the phone with Raihan and I was just as much as a mess as he was.

**My #2 bitch:** so yes alexa please play despacito

**Jesus christ:** he made me come ovER YOU WERE WORSE

**Jesus christ:** and now you didnt do a slep >:(

**My #2 bitch:** NEITHER DID YOU BRO

**Jesus christ:** BRO….

**My #2 bitch:** bRO..

**Jesus christ:** bro…

**My #2 bitch:** bro..

**Hopper:** raihan stole my bro status

**Jesus christ:** hell yeah I did leon lIKES ME WAY MORE THAN YOU

**Jesus christ:** peasant haha

**My #2 bitch:** raihan you’re only in the kitchen I will come over there and rip your fucking limbs off

**My #2 bitch:** jk i could never ily

**My #2 bitch:** but I will slap you if you make him cry

**Hopper:** ONLY SLAP??? IM OFFENDED EFHSLHSFJK

  
  



End file.
